"I nearly died, I'm very lucky to be alive..."
We defy you not to listen to this just once and be singing 'I haven't cried a single tear' all year' in your best falsetto voice. Serious epic sing-it-in-the-show business. LOVE!
We met up with Tyler last week to talk about his incredible journey through the industry of show. From being signed to Simon Fuller, to losing a record deal with Island and sinking into alcoholism and depression, to, of course, losing his best friend, he's had to weather a fair few storms.
But he's pulled himself back from the brink and is making brilliant music to boot. Far from the shy persona we saw on The Voice, Tyler in person is funny, engaging and more than a bit endearing. And what a handsome face he has too.
We had a chat about sobriety, songwriting and being mummy's little soldier...!
The Voice showcased your falsetto. Did that drive the direction the album took?
No. I mean, from a record company's perspective they would have been gutted if I hadn't used the falsetto at all, but, for me, it's always been my strongest point anyway. When I did my other stuff, back in the day, I did use it pretty much on every track, but it wasn't everywhere. I had never really thought about singing the lead like that. But, for me, it's the most comfortable place that I sing. It's not on everything, but it is there cos that's my voice.
"It's for anyone who's ever been hurt or who has ever lost someone..."
Why did you choose Single Tear as the first single to lead with?
Well, this album was really written in the last few months. Before the show, I hadn't really written anything for about four or so years, apart from odd ideas here and there. So everything that came out is stuff that has happened in the last four or five years that I hadn't really addressed. There's things that happened four years ago that I've written about and some of them are quite specific events. When I normally write a song, I tend to make it quite vague so that anyone can relate to it, but with this particular song, it's one of my favourites and one I'm most proud of.
Also in terms of where it's at lyrically, like, sometimes I write a song and afterwards I'm like 'What the f**k is that about'? (laughs). Seriously! Sometimes I sit there and I plan to write about something and other times it just comes out and I have to figure out what I mean. With Single Tear, them lyrics just came out. There wasn't much thought behind it. I was like 'Actually, this is how I feel about the last year and half of my life'. It's a culmination of that. It's for anyone who's ever been hurt or who's ever lost someone. You know when you break up with someone, it's so painful that you basically block it out, you don't engage in it. You block it out but you can't block shit out forever. Then all of a sudden it hits you all at once. That's what I realised when I wrote it. 'I haven't cried a single tear all year/ But now they come faster, it feels like disaster.' I may as well have actually dealt with that shit at the time but I didn't and when it hits you all at once it's epic. Breakdown type shit (laughs). So that's what it's about and that's why I chose it because that song, lyrically, encapsulates where my head is at. I've had a very dramatic year and a half. The last year and a half of my life, I can't believe it's happened. It's too much. I mean, good and bad. If you'd have told me a year a half ago 'By the way, this is going to happen and then this and then that' I'd have been like 'F**k off'. There's no way all that could happen in a year and a half.' But it has and that's what the song's about and that's why I wanted it to be epic and dramatic with the production. Because that's what the last year has been like.
Also in terms of where it's at lyrically, like, sometimes I write a song and afterwards I'm like 'What the f**k is that about'? (laughs). Seriously! Sometimes I sit there and I plan to write about something and other times it just comes out and I have to figure out what I mean. With Single Tear, them lyrics just came out. There wasn't much thought behind it. I was like 'Actually, this is how I feel about the last year and half of my life'. It's a culmination of that. It's for anyone who's ever been hurt or who's ever lost someone. You know when you break up with someone, it's so painful that you basically block it out, you don't engage in it. You block it out but you can't block shit out forever. Then all of a sudden it hits you all at once. That's what I realised when I wrote it. 'I haven't cried a single tear all year/ But now they come faster, it feels like disaster.' I may as well have actually dealt with that shit at the time but I didn't and when it hits you all at once it's epic. Breakdown type shit (laughs). So that's what it's about and that's why I chose it because that song, lyrically, encapsulates where my head is at. I've had a very dramatic year and a half. The last year and a half of my life, I can't believe it's happened. It's too much. I mean, good and bad. If you'd have told me a year a half ago 'By the way, this is going to happen and then this and then that' I'd have been like 'F**k off'. There's no way all that could happen in a year and a half.' But it has and that's what the song's about and that's why I wanted it to be epic and dramatic with the production. Because that's what the last year has been like.
"Being a successful artist who gets to go out and tour and have people listen to your music, that's everything I've ever wanted since I was 3 years-old. And I might be on the brink of that. If I think about it too much it blows my mind."
Who knows what might happen in the next year or so?
I know. I think about that all the time. I'm excited but I'm also apprehensive, as anyone would be. I talk about it all the time with my mates. I'm in one of those positions in life where, hopefully, everything is about to change. It's a weird position to be in. If you can imagine, being a successful artist who gets to go out and tour and have people listen to your music, that's everything I've ever wanted since I was 3 years-old. And I might be on the brink of that. That's a weird place to be. If I think about it too much it blows my f**king mind. It's scary (laughs).
Did you have those expectations with your first deal, and how did you cope when it didn't work out?
I didn't cope really at all. I was in rehab four years later. And it wasn't just because of that. When I first signed to Island, I'd been going even a long time before then. I already knew then that the record industry is the kind of place where you can get promised things that won't happen. When I was 17, I was managed by Simon Fuller - at that time one of the biggest managers in the world. He only looked after me, S Club 7 and Annie Lennox. I was literally promised to be the 'male Britney Spears' - when I was 16 that sounded quite cool to me! So I was used to that type of shit and then ironically, what happened around that time was the reality TV shows took off so Simon - and Simon Cowell - did Pop Stars or Pop Idol or whatever it was. So all that happened but ultimately that worked in my favour. Even though I was 19 and felt massively shafted by the whole thing, it allowed me to go off and find myself more. Cos you don't know who you are at 17 as an artist. Maybe some people do, but I didn't. And that's when I got more into my jazz, ska and reggae and that's a lot of what my last album was like. But that was a phase too really. I'm proud of that album but when I sat there three years later, I saw that I had been in such a specific type of music at the time. Now, I'm more broad in what I want to do. If people ask me now what my album is, I can say it's a soul album, it's a pop album. I love pop music, I love great songs, I admire songwriters and the craft of writing a song and that's why I feel so lucky to have gotten to work with Fraser T Smith. I've wanted to work with Fraser for years. I happen to know he's just a wa**er now, like me (laughs)! When I first heard Set Fire to the Rain - and I know that's not the first thing he did but I love Adele - to me it was perfect. In terms of songwriting and craft. I think about songs mathematically and that song is perfect; it's such a classy pop record.
Who else have you written with?
There's Fraser and Guy Chambers (Robbie Williams) and Nina Woodford, who's a friend I met in Sweden when I was 18. She was unknown then, but she's really successful now. She wrote Broken Strings for James Morrison. We've written a lot of stuff together and it's wicked cos she knows me really well. We've written a song called Brave, which is all about me going for the Voice. She actually came up with the concept, and she was saying how when I went for it, considering how messed up I was at the time, it was a brave thing to do. So we wrote a song about that and it's a really epic, positive track.
"I never gave up but I sat around thinking a lot, and you can sit around and think about things forever can't you? [You can have] this dream in your head that 'one day' it'll happen. Well it won't if you don't get off your arse and do it."
There was a point where most of my songs were proper heart-wrenching but now there's some more positive 'Go out there people and grab life by the balls' because that's the thing that the Voice changed for me. That was one of the first times in years that I made the decision to be a bit brave. That sounds really corny but… Like, I never gave up but I sat around thinking a lot, and you can sit around and think about things forever can't you? It's much more comforting in your head to sit there, even with nothing going on, with this dream in your head that 'one day' it'll happen. Well it won't if you don't get off your arse and do it. It's a lot less scary to not try, cos then you haven't failed have you? That's one of the biggest things for me, emotionally, is that I've tried and I'm about to find out soon the results of that. There is a part of me that feels properly vulnerable cos I've really put myself out there. It's all happened so fast that I haven't really thought about it. I was talking about it last night to my brother and I was like 'I can't believe I'm putting myself out there again. I could get shut down again.' But then I decided not to think about it and just go with it.
Do you feel more prepared this time, emotionally and musically?
Yeah I'm definitely in a stronger position than I was in before, cos of being on a TV show that went out to millions of people. I know there's an awareness of me. I walk down the street every day so I know people know me. But my whole thing is, knowing how the record industry works, all those millions of people that know me is all good but what they need to know is that I've got a song coming out. That's the difference, innit. The record label are sat there, guns blazing, full of confidence because in their eyes I've written a good song. That's all they could possible want for my first single - a hit. But it's the gap between all that; what radio stations are going to play it, what TV stations are going to play it. The video's great, it's really cinematic, it's exactly right for what I wanted. Doing the video was amazing too. All of those girls...! I felt like a don. (Pauses). It's a mental time. If I think about it too much then I revert back to myself and I get scared and I hide away. But it's not about doing that anymore. It's just not.
"There's only two things in my life that could happen, as far as I'm concerned, and when they happen I won't be here anymore. It's like 'goodbye world'. And that's my mum dying or my Amy dying. And, again, that happened and it f**king destroyed me, but I'm still here."
What are the differences between the new Tyler versus the old Tyler?
Oh, I've just been through so much since then and learnt so much. Like, I wasn't bright eyed and bushy tailed at 20 years-old anyway, I've never really been like that. I've always been a person that can lean towards my emotional and depressed side. I mean, I probably knew at 17 years-old that I'd end up in rehab one day cos I knew what I was like and I didn't give a f**k. There was a point where I was drinking and stuff where I didn't give a f**k about what happened to me. I just didn't care. That was just what I did - in my world anyway. That's just what me and my mates did; we got f**ked up. At first, we had a laugh, we had a great time. Taking drugs and drinking is great fun. For me now, cos I did get to the very end of that - I mean, I nearly died, I'm very lucky to be alive - I haven't drunk for four years and you couldn't pay me a hundred million pounds to drink a sip of vodka. I'd dash it in the road. That particular experience in my life, which I really didn't think I could ever cope with, completely changed me. So I found a different level of strength. I'm sure there's other experiences that people go through in life that are utterly terrible, and they have to delve deep to survive. When you're the weakest person you can be, paradoxically, you have to then be the strongest person that you can be all at the same time. It's so hard. But once you find it, what else are you going to be scared of? So I do have a different attitude to life.
You know, I'm sure you could sit there and be like 'What's my worst nightmare'? There's only two things in my life that could happen, as far as I'm concerned, and when they happen I won't be here anymore. It's like 'goodbye world'. And that's my mum dying or my Amy dying. And, again, that happened and it f**king destroyed me, but I'm still here. Again, I found a different level of strength. There's all these things where I think 'If this happens, I'm going to curl up and die' but you just don't. You just have to get on with it. In a way, the reason I'm different now is that I'm stronger, I'm more resilient than I used to be and that's because I've been through a load of shit. But that's life innit. That's part of growing up. You deal with things cos you have to. I still sit here and think 'How am I dealing with alcoholism or losing Amy' but you just do. When you're 20 years-old, it's all gravy really. When I was 20, I had a deal, money, great friends around me, I was going out and having a great life. So I'm different in the sense that I'm older and I've been through a lot of stuff.
"Hopefully this is my time to be the person I've always wanted to be. I want to be an artist. I love it."
It's been really mental, the last year and a half. I can't believe I've got a record deal again, I can't believe I've got an album coming out again. But it's amazing. I feel really lucky. As much as I've made choices and decisions that led to that, it's also luck. I can look back at the Voice and think 'What are the chances I'd end up in the last three people'. There were 20,000 people that applied and I was one of the last three. What were the chances? I hope that what happens in the future will prove the same thing - it's just my time. I really hope and I believe. Otherwise God, or whoever, is f**king with me! Hopefully this is my time to be the person I've always wanted to be. I want to be an artist. I love it. I get stressed out - I do, I'm such a stress head. I suffer from anxiety, so if you see me on a daily basis, like filming the video, I'll have little moments where I'm losing the plot, but ultimately, I love it. I really do. I love getting up onstage and singing. There's little things I don't like doing. On Saturday I had to do one of my songs to backing track and I f**king hate that. Where's my band? But I think any person out there who wanted to be an artist - not famous cos there's a difference - who wanted to go to the studio and write their music, and go onstage and perform in front of people and know there's a huge amount of people that love your music... I think those people are so, so lucky. I want to be that person.
"I'm used to getting up and doing a turn, having a sing and that, but girls screaming? It's really weird. I get a bit shy I guess. I don't want to be shy. I'd love to be confident."
Meeting you today, you seem much more confident than you did on the Voice.
Really? That's what that show did for me. Don't worry, I'm still an insecure little f**k (laughs), but it gave me so much confidence. It got me back to the performer that I used to be. My mates used to watch the show and they'd say how shy I came across. But I felt so scared and nervous in that environment, that's how I was. Even when I go onstage, it's not like I get up there like a cocky f**ker. That's just not me. I get embarrassed. Like, I did this thing in Windsor and all these girls are like 'Tyler, Tyler' all screaming. I just laughed like 'What are they doing'? It's weird! I'm used to getting up and doing a turn, having a sing and that, but girls screaming? It's really weird. I get a bit shy I guess. I don't want to be shy. I'd love to be confident. I'd love to have a lot more confidence. When I started that show I had none and now I have more and I needed that. Before, I wouldn't have been able to go into a studio and write. Cos when you get knocked down you lose your self-esteem. You lose a bit of belief in yourself. But people voting for me? I can't tell you what a nice feeling that was. Based on the performance you did, they voted. It's really wanky but it's like 'They like me!' It's such a nice feeling. When I lost my first deal I felt like life had taken the biggest shit on me. It was so nice for me to know that people were like 'Go on'! It's so nice that people are backing you. It's such a nice feeling.
"When I lost my first deal I felt like life had taken the biggest shit on me."
Is Will.i.am working with you on the album?
Yeah, we've started a few ideas. I don't know what songs will be on the album as yet, but either way, he's executive producing. There's 18 tracks done, but we haven't chosen the final 12 or whatever.
Do you have an album title yet?
A Place I Go. I think that's what it is. That's what I want it to be called. The label want lots of suggestions, but I've just got that one!
You're a stylish gentleman. Where do you shop?
I love Fred Perry more than any place in the world, . They're just perfect. They have this thing, it's very London, very blokey and very smart. I love that. I get their shirts and get them tapered so that it makes me look like I've got a good body. Which I don't! You don't need to go to the gym, just get your shirts tapered! Some stylists are really passionate about clothes, cos that's what they do, whereas I'm like 'It's just clothes'. I like to look nice but they get really passionate about it, like I get passionate about music, so I do respect that. But it's just clothes. I have had to say before I'm not a fashion experiment'. I've messaged my stylist before a shoot saying I just want a nice suit that fits and looks nice. I don't want anything loud and mental!
But this is just how I dress. When I get to a certain age I'll rock a suit everyday I reckon. I've always admired my Granddad for that. It's an east London thing. Even if he's just popping round to the pub, he's got a nice suit on. I love that. My mum and my Nan instilled that in me. If I went round my Nan's and my shirt was dirty, she'd literally take it off my back, make me something to eat, and I wouldn't be allowed to leave till she'd washed and ironed it. In east london, the thinking is, if you're a bloke you can't possibly exist without a woman. Which is true. I don't know what I'd do without my mum. I'm still her little soldier. She actually calls me her little soldier (laughs). I love it.
But this is just how I dress. When I get to a certain age I'll rock a suit everyday I reckon. I've always admired my Granddad for that. It's an east London thing. Even if he's just popping round to the pub, he's got a nice suit on. I love that. My mum and my Nan instilled that in me. If I went round my Nan's and my shirt was dirty, she'd literally take it off my back, make me something to eat, and I wouldn't be allowed to leave till she'd washed and ironed it. In east london, the thinking is, if you're a bloke you can't possibly exist without a woman. Which is true. I don't know what I'd do without my mum. I'm still her little soldier. She actually calls me her little soldier (laughs). I love it.
Single Tear is out 14 October.
Oh and here's the SX remix of Tyler's new single.
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